I should be coding. I have some important things to put together for the system and specifically for Eric before he goes to Everest in a few weeks. But instead I'm reading blogs by other adventure cyclists and thinking about bikes. I crossed out "other" because I don't really feel like I'm allowed to include myself in that designation. Right now, I'm not really anything. Well, I'm a bike commuter. Beyond that, no credibility. This isn't bad attitude, its just reality - I have a lot of training to do and a lot of experience to gain before I can be an adventure cyclist.

One person I'm reading a lot is Jill Homer. I recently downloaded her book, Ghost Trails, to my iPad and read it, and her blog is good. I don't know if its specifically a result of reading her book, or just general feelings, but this week I am having feelings of doubt and hopelessness over my ability in participating in something like this. I'm just feeling all of the obsticles today - training, money, mental - and its nagging me and bringing me down. Ms. Homer talks about this in her book, about breaking down mentally on the trail, training, being the anti-athlete, and in some ways I see myself. I am not an athlete. I'm a programmer and web guy. Why am I even entertaining this idea?